If you find that people in your life are telling you one thing, yet doing another…then this is the training for you. If you’re trying to outrun your heart when it’s telling you to stop. If you’re feeling trapped by your decisions. Then it’s time to stop when your heart says STOP.
SHOW NOTES…
It was a horrifying experience that I had yesterday!
Today’s S.O.L. STORY comes after I’d been thinking about yesterday’s podcast. (See EPISODE 019: Lessons From Bachelor In Paradise.) When I did this episode I was feeling very fired up about how I see relationships, and men and women in this situation and life. (I’m still fired up.)
Often we, as women, settle for that which we say we don’t desire. People do it all the time. Both men and women. We say one thing, but somehow our actions don’t line up with our words.
We wonder why people are doing to this us. Yet, the truth is…WE’RE doing it to ourselves!
People will treat us the way WE treat us (The Diamond Rule.) If you’re putting up with this type of behavior, you may be doing the same thing to yourself and others.
As I was thinking about this dynamic in relationships, I was getting very fired up. I’ve found over the years in my own life, as well as with those I coach, that this happens way too often.
If you missed the episode where I explain more about my own personal story, you can listen to EPISODE 002: You Are NOT Alone.
So how do you feel about the statement: “He’s not that into you?”
Perhaps you’ve felt this a time or two in your own relationships. Or perhaps you were the one feeling “not so into” someone else.
Thinking about this really bothered me yesterday. I felt this statement needed more explanation.
If someone’s stringing you along, and is “not that into you,” it’s because they don’t know what they really want. They’re not clear. They’re very uncertain. And uncertainty leads to insecurity.
OR…when you do this to another, you’re actually doing it to yourself (your present and future.) Then you wonder why you feel so insecure!
Again, perhaps the “Diamond Rule” is what’s affecting you.
I realized that I was asking my relationships to NOT treat me a certain way…yet I wasn’t doing anything to stop it. In essence, I was doing it to myself. When I stopped allowing the situation to continue by “putting up with it”, my life began to change.
My previous mindset, and blaming someone else for my unhappiness, simply wasn’t working.
When I began to own my happiness AND unhappiness, I was able to begin creating my own happiness.
No one’s responsible for YOUR happiness.
The more I thought about yesterday’s podcast, I felt like this topic needed to be discussed more in detail.
And yes, the conversation’s not over. I’ll continue to expand on this in coming episodes because it’s so vital.
There are too many people suffering needlessly in relationships because they’re looking for someone else to complete them, save them, or make them happy.
Instead, you’ll find what you seek in the relationship that you have with yourself. And when you discover this, all your relationships will go to a whole new stratosphere.
As I was deeply pondering this yesterday, I came to a train crossing. The red lights began to flash, and the safety bars came down. For a moment I thought I could make it through the intersection, but I quickly realized it was too late.
I ended up getting trapped in between the safety bars, on the train tracks…with the train coming!
What do you do in a situation like this? I did what I advise everyone to do…instead of freaking out I figured it out. I found a way off the tracks and out of harm’s way!
I kept my wits about me, and did what I needed to do to make a split second decision and turn around. I believe with all my heart that this decision could very well have saved my life.
All this happened in front of a lot of people. If I had waited for someone else to make the decision for me, or cared about anything other than what needed to happen in that moment, it would have been a very different outcome. Thank God I made it off the track!
Then I totally freaked out. With adrenaline pumping, I was sweating, shaking and doing my best to determine the bigger lesson in the whole experience.
I believe this lesson is for ALL of us!
When the red light is flashing, STOP MEANS STOP.
STOP MEANS STOP.
Where in your life do you need to STOP something?
Are you attempting to avoid something?
I did this for over a decade. Instead of stopping when my heart was telling me to stop, and the metaphorical red light was flashing, I chose to attempt to outrun the warnings, instead of STOPPING.
This may be you as well.
You can attempt to outrun it. Yes, you can run, but you cannot hide.
I remember getting to a place in my life where I felt trapped. Not unlike how I felt on those train tracks. Trapped. Scared…almost to death. But I made a decision to do something about it.
If you’re trying to run from your heart telling you that you need to stop. If you’re feeling trapped by your decisions. It’s time to stop when your heart says STOP.
Where in your life do you need to stop?
Please grab your SACRED S.O.L. D.A.T.E. JOURNAL (Daily Action To Engage with yourself.)
TODAY’S SACRED S.O.L. STEP:
1. Stop. Take a moment to ask yourself…
2. Where in your life have you felt as though the red lights are flashing, but yet you’re NOT stopping?
3. Circle it.
4. Commit to this today by taking action.
OR if your heart is telling you to GO. GO.
Usually after an abrupt STOP, there’s an immediate GO. When you begin to STOP, you’ll have an opportunity to start GOING in the right direction for you.
Get clear, certain, and take massive action.
I certainly hope you got something of value from this message today.
I thank God the story ended well.
If you haven’t yet checked out WomenSippingOnLife.com, please come over. I’ve got some free resources for you.
As always, I’d appreciate if you’d subscribe to iTunes or Stitcher, and share a rating + review.
Thanks again. See you tomorrow.
xo Dr. Shannon. Inspiring minds that want to grow and hearts that want to know, so you can love you, your life, and your life’s work well. ONE SIP AT A TIME.
A special thanks to the following souls for helping me launch our WOMEN SIPPING ON LIFE podcast…
Intro/Outro done by Uni V. SOL
Outro music by Jay Man: Mind Over Matter (www.ourmusicbox.com)
Podcast cover design and web site done by: Pablo Aguilar (www.webdesigncreator.com)
Podcast cover photo by Kate Montague of KM Captured (www.kmcaptured.com)
Women Sipping. On. Life. (with doctor shannon) is YOUR daily podcast for something new. Different. Satisfying. Soul quenching. Unscripted. LOVE. Practical Solutions. Powerful coaching that equips and empowers you to show up. Speak up. Step up. Step into your life. Fully engaged. Loving your life + life’s work well. Starting from the very first sip. Uncover and discover your TRUTH, so you can drink it all in. Live it all now. Naked. Unafraid. Unashamed. Unapologetic. Unconditionally loved. Heart + Soul. Become the great lover of your life. ONE SIP AT A TIME.